Category: Joke Board
How did Helenn Kellers parents punish her?
-By putting doornobs on the wall.
Why did Helen Keller only use one hand to play the piano?
-She needed the other one to sing.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
-So she can moan with the other.
Why were Helen Kellers hands purple?
-She heard it thru the grapevine.
How do you get helen keller to keep a secret?
-Break her fingers.
What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her for swearing?
-Washed her hands with soap.
lol. there good
What did Hellen kellers parrents do to her when she was bad?
Leave the plunger in the toilot and not tell her.
Why was Hellen eller's leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
How did Hellen Keller become schizophrenic?
Tried to read a stucko wall.
This is sick... but...
Why was Hellen Keller admitted to the hospital?
Seems she tried to read her hot waffle iron.
Bob
p.s. just kidding about sick, this is funny.
Nice addition, Bob. I heard one similar. See blow:
How did Hellen Keller Burn the right side of her face?
She answered the iron.
How did Hellen Keller burn the left side of her face?
The person called back.
How did Helen Keller burn her face?
She was bobbing for French Fries.
There are a coule others I know, but I don't think I can spell to get my point across, so I'll leave them alone.
Lou
Why does Helen Keller have holes in her face? She tried eating with a fork.
Did you hear about the new Helen Keller Doll? You wind her up and she bumps into the furniture!
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They stuck a plunger in the toilet.
How many kids did Helen Keller have? NONE! The plunger went all the way through!
why does helen keller wear tight pants? so you can read her lips!!
What's Helen Kellers favourite movie? Around the Block in 80 days.
What's the name of helen kellers new movie? silent scream.
what did hellen keller get for cristmas? polio! she had everything else.
Why did helen kellers dog commit suicide? you would to if your name was mmmmmmmmmnnnnnn.
Why doesnt Hellen Kellar scream when she fell off the cliff? - She was wearing mittens.
How did Helen Keller burn her hands? She was trying to read a waffle iron.
Thank you for reminding me of an entire genre of jokes I'd forgotten for awhile.
I quit! LOL.
Lou
wow. kimmy's started something now. hey
heheheheheheheheheheheh, Nice, lol!
You people are sick...funny as hell, but sick. LOL. I can't believe I've never heard any of these jokes. Keep them coming...that's right...I'm sick too.
Wow yall are so wrong, and sick, but yes, very funny.
Agree with Jess. A person shouldn't laugh at the like of that, but they're pretty funny all the same.
Here are more HK jokes, enjoy you sick people, rofl.Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?-from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear.How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?-Answering the stapler.How did Helen Keller drive her car?-One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?-Trying to read stop signs.Define true love.-Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.What did Helen Kellers parent's do to punish her?-Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the cornerWhat did she do when she fell down the well?-She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.What is Helen Keller's favorite color?-Corduroy or Velcro.
Sorry about the repeats, I know there are some, but I think I also saw a couple of new ones.
http://www.bestmidi.com/jokes/hk.php
Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
A1: Corduroy.
A2: Velcro.
Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt?
A. She was bobbing for french fries.
Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
A: She answer the iron.
Q: How did she burn the other side of her face?
A: They called back.
Q: Why was Helen Keller's leg wet?
A: Her dog was blind too.
Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A. she needs the other to moan with.
Q. How did she burn her fingers?
A. Reading the waffle iron
Q. What did she do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed and screamed until her hands turned blue.
-----
A blind man is sitting on a park bench. A rabbi sits down next to him.
The rabbi is chomping on a piece of matzah. Taking pity on the blind
man, he breaks off a piece and gives it to the blind man.
Several minutes later, the blind man turns, taps the rabbi on the
shoulder, and asks, "Who wrote this crap?"
Why don't blind people go skydiving?
It scares the dogs.
A woman was taking a bath when she heard her doorbell ring. "Who is it?" she said. "Blind man," was the answer. "I'll be right there," she said.
Without putting clothes on, she went to the door. A surprised man said,
"where do you want these venetian blinds?"
A blind man walks into a shop with his guide dog. He puts the lead on the dog and starts swinging it round through the air by it. The shop assistant is
horrified by this cruelty and runs to fetch the manager.
The manager rushes up to the blind man saying: "What the hell are you doing? Put that dog down immediately." The blind man replied, "I'm only having a look
around."
What are the bumps around a girl's nipples?
They read "suck here" in braille.
What do they teach a blind gynecolegist in med school?
How to read lips!!!
One day I was talking to my friend, and he said, "Yep, I'm color blind to one color." Then I asked him what color was he color blind to, and he said, "I
don't know. I haven't seen it yet."
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
What do you call a blind rabbit sitting on your face?
An unsightly facial hare!
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille.
Why are bats blind?
Well, you wouldn't see too good if you hung upside-down all day, would you?
Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff?
A. She was wearing mittens
Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants?
A. So you can read her lips
Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
A. You would too if your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'.
Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll?
A. Wind it up and it walks into walls.
Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)?
A. Helen Keller moaning
Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world?
A: The guy who raped Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't
scream for help.
Q: How come Helen Keller can't have kids??
A: Because she's DEAD!
Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy?
A. Trying to read a stucco wall.
Q: What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
A1: Rearranged the furniture
A2: Left the plunger in the toilet bowl
A3: Put Saran Wrap on the toilet.
A4: Put her in a round room and told her there's a penny in the corner
A5: Washed her hands out with soap
A6: Gave her bird-seed to read.
A7: Glued doorknobs to the walls
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive a car?
A1: She's a woman.
A2: She's dead.
Q: How did Helen Keller break her arm in the car?
A: Trying to read stop signs.
Q: How did HK get poke marks on her face?
A: Learning to eat with a fork.
Q: What's the name of Helen Keller's favorite book?
A: "Around the block in 80 Days"
Q: Define true love.
A: Hellen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing tennis.
Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a dollhouse in the backyard?
A: Neither did she.
Q: How did Helen Keller drive her car?
A: One hand on the wheel; The other on the road.
Q: How did Helen Keller meet her husband?
A: On a blind date!
Q: How did Helen Keller pierce her ear?
A: Answering the stapler.
Q: How did Helen Keller's teachers punish her for talking in class?
A: They made her wear mittens.
Q: Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?
A: So she could always find him.
Q: Why did Helen Keller have yellow fingers?
A: from whispering sweet-nothings in her boyfriends ear
Q: How did Helen Keller pick her eyes out?
A: She shouted histerically.
Bob